Won't Miss #329 - limited diet soda options

Okay, let's get this out of the way first. Diet sodas are bad for me. They are the devil's sperm meant to inseminate me with their evil cancer-causing hobgoblins. I shouldn't drink diet sodas and if I "have to" have a soda, I should suck it up and drink the sugary stuff. Finished with your finger wagging and judging? Good, good. You are superior to me in every way and I bow to your greatness